Life is a rollercoaster
Hang on tight!
If anyone had told me I would break my neck and end up in a rigid neck brace 24/7 for 12 weeks I would not have believed them. I learnt years ago that I should never engage in risky behaviour that could lead to a fall, you know, no skating, skiing, riding anything (with legs or 2 wheels anyway), and obviously no scooters.
It turned out all I had to do was bend over below my toes, overbalance, and fall from a height onto my head. No high risk activity required! And the ensuing journey feels like one of those rickety old noisy rollercoasters that you are sure will throw you out any moment. I have discovered I really have to hold on very tight indeed! I never know what's around the corner or when it will suddenly dip down into the abyss, only to suddenly be yanked up again as if by magic back into the light. It's a scary ride that seems a bit tricky to maintain at first.
I am unsure if I had become somewhat complacent, or if this was part of becoming older for this fall to happen; but it has made me, once again, stop and re-evaluate my life. Every time I've had a near-death experience it highlights more and more what is truly important in life.
My connections with my family members that are showing up for me; my friends and acquaintances that have continued to check in on me, offer company or caffeinated drinks (we all know how much I love a coffee and I haven't been let down); family members from afar that I haven't spoken to or even seen for months or years that have come forward to offer their love and support. And honestly just so much unexpected support from near and far.
Connection with others who can offer simply, but importantly, a listening ear; those who can offer to do odd jobs I can't at the moment; those that can give me a hug; or those who can make me laugh.
Connection across the oceans that led to a true turn-around for my recovery by allowing me to heal without having to worry about where my next meal would come from.
I miss my connection with the ocean and that I cannot swim for so long - in fact for the whole summer. I miss this sorely. Their are other missed connections harder to explain. Connections strained because some people are not around when times get tough for other reasons that are not always clear.
Making peace with what is
Having lost so much control through this injury I am having to make peace with what is. That means making peace with not being able to work and help my clients. That means not having the ability to leave the house when I want to, or even have visitors when I want to - it's learning what it feels like to be at the whim of people's lives and other engagements and just allowing myself to go with the flow.
Not being able to spend much time outside at all (due to the heat and my neck) is definitely the most difficult connection to lose. I do my best to go outside each night when it's cooler to connect with nature somewhat. I continue to learn and learn. I'm not sure what my greatest lesson from this is just yet, but I will share with you when I do. I guess a part of this lesson is truly letting go of control. And being ok with that. I think I'm getting better - actually - I KNOW I am getting better at this.
The other helpful lesson? One can only ever feel better by actively practicing an #attitudeofgratitude #acceptingsupport #askingforhelp #lettinggoofcontrol #mindfulness #connection #hangontight #lifeisarollercoaster #emotionsaretemporary